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Josh Kirkendall's Bengals 53-man roster prediction: Pre-Training Camp

When spring practices concluded last month, we unleashed the (add reverb and echo effects to the amplifier please): The Josh Kirkendall post-minicamp 53-man roster prediction (nnnnn). There were disputes, mailbags and explanations; some cried tears of joy, others were treated for sleep deprivation due to their anguished betrayal. Sorry, bros and brahs. We had initially planned to release a 53-man roster prediction every week... then it occurred to me, why? What the hell would change over the five weeks that necessitated a weekly prediction? Maybe while living in Cleveland, someone getting shot in the face, would precipitate change.